The internet can be the best place to ruin good things. Memes, dating, spur-of-the-moment adventures, childhood innocence, and least of all: pizza.
The "Hawaiian Pizza Debate" is a longstanding, heated debate on the merits of what very well might be America's favorite food of all time, now desecrated by chunks of pineapple. (And FYI: Hawaiian pizza isn't even from the Aloha State; it was allegedly founded by a Greek-Canadian in the 1960s. Cultured? You are not.)
The internet (or a person, we're still searching for them) added another layer to the Pineapple Pizza discourse, and it involves … strawberries. Get ready to lose it.
A Twitter user posted a photo of a perfect as-is pizza but with strawberry slices. The caption read: "strawberries>>pineapples," which, also in the spirit of internet discourse, sparked downright outrage. Understandably, so.
One Twitter user spoke for the majority and tweeted: "Haven't we suffered enough as a nation? Why must we be subjected to blasphemy and obvious satanism? Strawberries do not belong on pizza."
Another person suggested a better, more proactive solution: "Pineapple and non-pineapple pizza eaters must put our differences aside and join forces to defeat this evil."
Even DiGiorno Pizza had something to say about it, although the "It's Not Delivery" pizza company remained somewhat bipartisan, tweeting "October 30, 2017. The day a photo of strawberries on a pizza surfaced on Twitter. Pineapple is likely offended."
Yet there was still a small minority that spoke highly of strawberry-slice slices: "I'm really feelin this new strawberries on pizza thing" and "i wanna try strawberries on pizza it looks good" rippled among the Twitter responses.
And this only sparked the fringes of the internet society to come out, guns blazing. It wasn't too long before the "Strawberry Pizza Tweeter" who posted the photo came back online to kindly request: "Stop reporting me to the @FBI IM LEGITIMATELY SCARED."
Another chronic internet vice, aside from ruining pizza, is making a mountain out of a molehill. A crime out of a strawberry-sliced pizza.
One audacious Twitter user had the last say, when he teased, "The police are on their way, I hope it was worth it."