An insidious crime of cutlery has gone viral, spreading throughout the internet, causing mayhem in its wake. Commentators are saying this man's crimes are the reason for the country's divide.
On Oct. 3, a man dressed in a suit was filmed eating Chicken McNuggets using a fork, which critics claim "inappropriate" and "unacceptable behavior."
The video below shows the man eating his nuggets with a fork, before sensibly dipping it into sauce; the table manners of a capable man. The only thing he should be guilty of is not abiding by some fictitious McD's "code of ethics," that one must eat McDonald's cuisine in a conventional manner.
We've reached a fork in the road -- no longer can a customer eat their McDonald's Chicken McNuggets with fork and knife, not without scrutiny, not without fear, not without a fleet of unkind reproaches.
"If you eat chicken nuggets with a fork please remove yourself from this universe i can't risk breathing the same air as you," one commenter wrote.
A pitchfork mob clustering over a plastic fork -- anyone else confused about everyone else's confusion?
Others insisted he must be a "serial killer for sure," an "animal," and "sick in the head." While others were more humorous: "Champagne taste on a beer budget," and "That's when you want a five-star meal but settle for macdaddys."
Because the internet would be a boring place to surf without indulging in polemics, I will pick a side and contend: this man is innocent. This forked man is wearing a nice suit; grease stains do not match well with Gabardine slim-fit separates, okay? If I had to go deeper, which I must: eating McDonald's with your hands is a greasy experience. And have you thought of the cost of a dry cleaning bill?
Is it so unfathomable to witness classiness in a McDonald's restaurant? "This guy needs an education on how to eat nuggets," one user commented.
There are many things to be divisive about on the internet and in the real world. This is not one of them.