If there's one thing everybody knows about Donald Trump, it's that the man loves walls. In fact, his regard for them is so high that he even dedicated an entire section of his website to them!
Seriously. Borders are his thing.
So perhaps that’s why a restaurant located in Portland called Vinnie's Pizza has named their newest pie, which is inspired by Mr. Donald Trump himself, "The Wall."
The pizza, which includes triple cheese and an additional three toppings, is an impressive (and excessive) six-layers high. While that may sound like an unmanageable slice, don't let the description deter you from trying it out for yourself, dainty-handed diners. The Wall has been specifically designed with Trump’s “little tiny fingers” in mind, ensuring that digits of all shapes and sizes can handle picking up a slice.
The promotional sign for the pizza, according to Grubstreet, reads:
It’s a wall of pizza, overdone and overblown. Cut in slices that little tiny fingers can handle. Everybody likes it. It’s everyone’s favorite. It’s the best built pizza you’ll ever see. I guarantee it. Not for losers and haters. I love the pizzas and the pizzas love me. You can use cash, credit card, or send the bill to Mexico. They’ll pay for it. I guarantee the Mexicans will pay for it!
According to WWeek, the “overdone and overblown” pizza slices are offered in various different sizes from small to giant. But don’t expect to dine on The Great Wall Of Trump for cheap. Each “Wall” of pizza will run you anywhere from $4 to $10 more than a normal combo pizza. The giant is $35.
In a nod to how ridiculous the entire premise — and, perhaps, Trump’s entire campaign? — truly is, Vinny’s, in an ode to John Oliver’s widely-promulgated takedown, also made sure to hang a massive sign out front that reads "Donald Drumpf Campaign Headquarters.”
So what are you waiting for? Comb over to Donald's side and grab yourself a piece of The Wall.