With the help of musical guest Sturgill Simpson, Stephen Colbert pitched a song to be featured as part of Waffle House’s jukebox repertoire (video below).
Waffle House has its own label, Waffle Records, which provides music to be played throughout the chain. Waffle House jukeboxes play songs written about the restaurant, and include such titles as "Waffle House for You and Me" and "There Are Raisins in My Toast," as noted by NPR.
In this spirit, Colbert composed a song called, "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Knuckleheads," dedicated to the proper way in which one should behave when dining at the 24-hour breakfast restaurant, since "an all-star breakfast comes with some rules."
In the song, both Colbert and Simpson explained that although customers can have fun at Waffle House, a certain level of decorum must be followed, such as "no spitting, no yelling […] no drinkin', no drugging.'" They also advise against building "evil robots for enslavin' mankind," and suggest that sick customers "better head outside."
Colbert also said since the restaurant is called Waffle House, and not "Waffle Zoo," "Waffle Barn," "Waffle Circus," or "Waffle Asylum," the rules must be respected "or someone's calling the cops."
What do you think of the song? It definitely has a chance to make it on the Waffle House roster! Stephen Colbert may also want to consider a career as a country singer if he gets tired of being a talk show host.