Koozies are great. They keep your hand from getting hypothermia while gripping a cold beer. But there's one problem: you can't eat them. And this is America, where absolutely everything should serve the dual purpose of its original function and the ability to be ingested.
Food blogger The Vulgar Chef saw the glaring koozie issue and nobly decided to do something about it -- by creating the edible pizza koozie (video below).
He calls it "completely ridiculous, totally inconvenient, but still delicious."
The inventive drinker begins by brushing a sheet of pizza dough with olive oil. He then gives the dough a generous sprinkling of miniature pepperonis and a shower of mozzarella. (No sauce. That comes later to avoid a gloppy mess.)
It looks a whole lot like a thin-crust pizza -- until the unexpected happens. The chef folds the pizza over in half, lays yet more pepperoni and "Italian spices" over the top and flattens it with a rolling pin.
He wraps his PBR tallboy in a protective layer of aluminum foil. Then he wraps it again, this time with the pizza, so the pepperoni is on the outside. Surprisingly, only a couple of pepperonis fall off the dough when he rolls it around the beer.
Next, the massive pizza log is squeezed into a larger can, a ring of dough peaking out over the top. Into the oven it goes, and out it comes a golden brown.
When the bake is complete, the chef cracks open his pizza-wrapped beer, takes a swig and plucks off a cheesy bite of pizza, which he dunks into a crafty beer-can container of pizza sauce.
He chews, he sips. He appears satisfied -- and somewhat as though he has never seen cheese before.
Whether you opened this story feeling skeptical or electrified, you've got to admit that this guy knows what he wants and goes for it in the most creative of ways.
The poozie, kizza, pizza koozie or whatever you so wish to christen it has arrived on planet earth. And it's ready to make your dreams of holding pizza and beer in the same hand (and eating koozies, I guess) come true at last.