Crimes large and small have been committed this past year -- enough to cancel Christmas altogether. It looks like everyone's on the naughty list and if you check it twice, you'll find this Twitter user, David Sanchez, serving up a deliberately horrendous pizza pie made of DiGiorno pizza and melted candy canes. It's not DiGiorno, it's revolting.
"'Tis the season… to be jolly, my dudes," Sanchez wrote on Twitter on Dec. 2.
Sanchez posted a peppermint cheese pie topped with a dozen or so melted candy canes, then served lovingly to his partner who appears to be enjoying herself a slice.
The candy cane pizza comes after an equally distasteful DiGiorno pizza combo that went viral on Twitter earlier this year: Candy corn pizza.
DiGiorno weighed in on the issue.
The frozen pizza company tweeted later, "First candy corn. Now candy canes. Next PLEASE STOP DOING THIS."
Others just couldn't figure out why anyone would ruin a perfectly good pizza.
Other users were in on the trending joke, suggesting even grosser festive pizza toppings such as eggnog, pumpkin spice, Lucky Charms and Valentine's Day candy hearts -- which we can bet will make its way into someone's kitchen by February. But nobody actually expects anyone to eat it, do they?
"It was excellent," Sanchez told The Daily Meal. "Probably making another for Christmas dinner (winky face emoji)."
One person on Twitter noted, "Breath gonna smell like cheesy Colgate."
Sanchez falls among a half-dozen others who reverted back to toddlerhood when squashing random food toppings together was cute. Revisiting the gross dishes, you'll find the guy that baked candy corn into a DiGiorno pizza; the bored college student who made a Pop-Tart cheese sandwich, claiming it was an "Iowan" thing; and the Illinois-native enjoying his state's "classic" mustard Pop-Tart.
Santa's giving coal to all these food vandalizers (not to be made into a coal-fired pizza). Just coal. Let's try to bring in the new year with our food toppings exactly where they belong; the candy canes on the tree, the mustard and cheese on sandwiches, and the candy corn … well, who really eats those, right?