Fair warning, folks: If you are offended easily by profanity, you might want to skip out on reading this one.
This little sister is quickly cementing her way into my heart as a true American treasure, by putting together a collection of recipes entitled: ‘Recipes You Absolutely Can’t F*ck Up’ for her older brother Warren.
You have to give the girl credit: the book has a theme, and that theme is mockery; seldom a paragraph goes by without some kind of jab about Warren’s kitchen-woes. However, the cookbook is actually chock full of your favorite comfort foods, with genuine recipes.
Published by Imgur user tacopartyinyourmouth, the cookbook is swimming with curse words and clever little one-liners that help coach Warren in the kitchen.
After a foreword explaining cast iron pan etiquette -- "Go wild and enjoy yourself, just don’t burn down the house in the process. Merry Christmas, jerk face" -- the first recipe of the book appears: "Chicken soup so simple a caveman can do it."
Luckily, the cookbook includes a friendly little disclaimer: "Unless you’re so dumb you couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel, then you’re sh*t out of luck."
According to Metro, the cookbook includes the following recipes:
- Chicken soup so simple a caveman can do it
- Leftover chicken salad so your lazy ass can make two meals at once
- Shepherd’s pie that we all know will be eaten in one sitting
- Swedish meat balls
- Indian chicken curry (not the ‘night on the toilet’ kind)
- Cream cheese spaghetti bake
- Not so Kentucky Fried Chicken
- Teriyaki chicken
- Beef Stroganoff
- Loaded baked potato soup (yum?)
- Honey soy pork chops
Pretty impressive, no?
Imgur users were quick to compliment her laminated sheets (“So he can’t spill sh*t and f*ck up the recipes. Nice touch,’ commented one user) and have been asking taco party in your mouth if she plans on publishing a legitimate cookbook any time soon. At any rate, you can access all of her recipes on her Google Doc.
Would you buy her book in print?