If you are a member of either an online or real-life fitness community, you have probably heard about Quest Bars before. The wildly popular brand (which grew a staggering 57,000% in its first three years, reports Food Business News) has generated a lot of buzz, and doesn't look to be slowing down any time soon.
First of all, their nutritional profiles are pretty hard to beat: each bar boasts a high protein and fiber content, making them a smart post-workout snack or meal-replacement. Secondly (and arguably more importantly): they taste good, ya'll.
As of May 12, Quest Nutrition offers 18 different flavors of Quest Bars, and so in the name of health and “science”, we hunkered down to present you with our official taste test and ranking of every single flavor.
Without further ado…
Last Place (#18): Cinnamon Roll
We’ll get the ball rolling with what is sure to be an unpopular opinion, but we found this one to be vile. Granted, we’re probably the only two people in the world who have marked dislikes for cinnamon buns (and really all cinnamon-flavored treats), so this bar never really had a chance. But we’re the taste testers, so: we don’t care!
#17: Lemon Cream Pie
Definitely more citrusy than lemony. While we appreciate that it didn’t taste artificial, it was still just sort of dull and unmemorable.
#16: Banana Nut Muffin
Like most people, we can get down for a piece banana bread — but not when it comes in the form of a protein bar. We’ll award it some points for its soft texture, but something about the flavor profile here tasted bizarre and ultimately unappetizing.
#15: Mixed Berry Bliss
Soft, and jam-packed with loads of freeze-dried berries. Each bite delivered a surprising amount of flavor, but the bar was hardly memorable.
#14: Apple Pie
In its natural form, this bar was unremarkable, but stick it in the microwave for 10 seconds, and it transforms into something truly reminiscent of the real thing (right down to the little chunks of apple in it).
#13: Peanut Butter Supreme
As a huge fan of peanut butter, I was positive I would like this one. While it was hefty and had real, intact peanuts, it tasted nothing at all like peanut butter. Pass.
#12: Coconut Cashew
We were both expecting this thing to be as dry as Steven Wright’s sense of humor, but it was actually pleasantly chewy and steered clear of the over-the-top sweet profile sometimes associated with coconut-flavored treats (Almond Joys, we’re side-eyeing you).
#11: Vanilla Almond Crunch
This somehow managed to taste like if one of those sweet-smelling soap bars fell into a vat of spray tan. So, you know. If that’s your thing…
#10: Strawberry Cheesecake
For lack of a better word, we found this to be the most gooey of all the flavors. It was extremely malleable, and tasted more sweet and gritty than cheesecake-y.
#9: Chocolate Peanut Butter
Again — where did the peanut butter go? What is going on? Why does this bar taste so much more synthetic and chewy than its other relatively non-chunky counterparts?
#8: White Chocolate Raspberry
This bar is very soft, and to Quest’s credit, they do not skimp on the white chocolate chunks. That being said, the bar has that particular fake, fruity flavor to it. If you like white chocolate, this will probably be a hit; if you’re iffy about it like we are, this bar is going to come across as too cloying.
#7: Peanut Butter & Jelly
Since we were united in our opinion that the other peanut-centric flavors were disappointing, we weren’t expecting much from classic ol’ PB&J. Credit where credit is due, though: Quest nailed it with this one. I am pretty staunchly in the strawberry>grape jelly camp, so this bar brought me right back to my childhood. It was soft, crunchy and infused with just enough sweetness.
#6: Cookies & Cream
Yup. This works. Our only tip is to limit yourself to one, because Quest bars have a way of forming into cement blobs at the bottom of your stomach if you attempt to eat more. Our friend told us so.
#5: Chocolate Brownie
This is the only non-chunky flavor that breaks the top 5, and that is because it is awesome. It has a dense texture, reminiscent of chocolate cake, and the cocoa flavor is decadent and satisfying.
#4: Mint Chocolate Chunk
This is essentially a giant Thin Mint, except with lots of protein, and generous amounts of minty bits that look so vibrant and green.
#3: Double Chocolate Chunk
Chocolate on chocolate — this is the closest to a candy bar you're likely to get, and we're not complaining.
#2: S’mores
Texture, texture, texture. The graham-cracker flavored base is soft and rich, broken up with bits of what seem like real graham crackers, large chocolate chunks, and some white yummy mystery specks we assume are meant to represent marshmallows.
#1: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
The undisputed winner by far. Too often have we tried cookie-dough-flavored treats only to find them lacking in flavor, texture, and general pleasure. Not so with this bar: It’s chunky, chewy, sweet, comforting and somehow good for you.
Just take a look inside:
